This note in parentheses aside, over the course of the past couple of weeks I found myself indulging in celebratory sweetness while ringing in my new year. Yes, my birthday. I know for many, there is a looming negativity that, for whatever reason, is attached to the "one year older" realization. Perhaps it's the fear of not having accomplished all that was expected by a certain age, perhaps it's simply due to the physical worries; those being the worries about what gray hairs, fine lines and/or wrinkles are inevitable and set for arrival over the upcoming 365 days. That inner voice that wants to harass and pester us with self-talk such as "I graduated from high school how long ago? Damn I'm old!" and "That new teacher across the hall wasn't even born yet when Thelma and Louise ended it all on the big screen...bitch!" doesn't help much either.
As I ran through all of the calculations in my mind as to how long it's been since I graduated from pre-school, middle school, high school, my undergrad degree, teacher's college, moved to Toronto, lived in England, taught in Spain then began pining for those earlier times, I stopped myself and my usual brooding and moping that the looming number usually results in. Instead I began to remember the challenges, the poor judgement, the naivety and the sometimes wavering sense of direction that my early to mid twenties involved. To be honest, I would not go back to those years if I was paid a fortune to do so. The sweetness of this past year, and the incredible solidity of my life's path over the past couple of years is far more attractive to me than having a more youthful complexion and lower digits in the "age" section on all of those travel contest entries I fill out endlessly (I won once! It can happen again!)
Sweetness came in all forms, such as in the delicious cake I shared with family, including my beyond adorable nephews. At one point I was handed my gifts and those cuties surrounded me and grasped them all from my hands, opening them as if the cards and gifts were their own. For 3 days I couldn't find my card from Mom and Dad and I was sure little Welly (only a year and a half) had gotten a hold of it. He's big into reading these days. My suspicions were right. 2 days later I got a text from my Mom "We found the card Dad and I gave you! It was in the tickle trunk!" The tickle trunk is just a fun name my brother, Matt, termed the toy trunk in their sitting room. (RIP Mr. Dressup). I laughed out loud while attempting to wrap up the final school day.
Sweetness also came in the form of sending off the 2013-2014 group of students I taught.They headed off to their summer and on into the 5th grade. I climbed up on stage on Tuesday in front of the student body, teachers and all parents to attempt to describe the remarkable bunch of kids I had the pleasure of teaching. I reflected on the year and all of the progress they each made, knowing that in my very own classroom I had in my presence, for a short time, future politicians, world leaders, comedians, entertainers, engineers, best-selling authors, brain surgeons and professional athletes. Hearing multiple times from parents that their child was truly happy in my class and that to them, as parents,the happiness of their child is the most important factor in a given day. These accounts at the end of year, melt my heart and mean the world to me as an educator. By times, we teachers wonder what it's all for. Some days feel thankless and leave us pulling out our rapidly graying hair, but it's these confessions that keep us coming back with even more enthusiasm, raring and ready to go into the next school year.
Of course, sweetness followed as the faculty gathered for an end of the year rager (ok it was just a BBQ with a few cocktails), and will continue on as I'm set to celebrate my birthday with a few of my besties and favourtie people this weekend. The sweetness factor will continue for this new year of mine, I am sure. The excitement I have welling inside me for my book launch and touring can be equated to the feeling I would get as a child right before I jumped on the giant slip 'n slide in the back yard. The book will be launched on August 22nd. A party and fundraiser will happen in conjunction and I hope to see many of you there. Cheers to getting older, bolder and following your heart!
If you've yet to see it, check out my trailer for my novel, The Tantalizing Tale of a Bitter Sweetheart by clicking here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzUCspmOebw
Please follow the links below to learn more about the Because I am a Girl cause initiated by Plan International:
http://becauseiamagirl.ca/
Connect with me on Linkedin Jessica Ashley Dafoe
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Happy reading!
Jessica Ashley Dafoe
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