Vanity and the Narcissist

Toronto's World MasterCard Fashion Week is nearing its end and after viewing newly unveiled designs that are most certainly a feast for the eyes and titillating to the senses for a host of reasons, whether because of the playful prints used in Laura Siegel's line or the bold and brooding solid collection displayed by Matiere Noire; the  feminine yet rustic and visually appealing medley of looks shown by Joe Fresh or the luxe and ultra-hip presentation by Mackage, the week thus far has not disappointed. As fashionistas and fashionistos alike await the remaining designers to parade their masterpieces down the runway, I, like-wise, am eagerly anticipating what more the week holds in store.

As mentioned in my previous post, well, for me anyway, style has been kicked up a notch when it comes to daily wear selections. I'm reflecting on my wardrobe choices over the past 4 days at a job where I use glitter, patterns and incorporate hues for arts and crafts as opposed to couture designs, and I realize that I did in fact go that extra mile in celebration of this week's tribute to Canada's remarkable design talent. My usual teaching wear involving comfy leggings and belted sweater dresses paired with ballet flats were replaced with wide-legged trousers, pencil skirts, Polo shirts cardigans and heeled boots or pumps. To be honest, I don't even feel that this was a conscious effort; the event coverage, along with the multitudes of beautiful Instagram photos posted all over social media, the talk of favorite designs and lines among friends and acquaintances simply subtly inspired me to take more pride in my appearance at my daily 8-4 workplace.

I've become overly aware that there is a fine line between taking pride in one's appearance and going to such an extreme that the outer self is of utmost importance. I always profess to be of the mindset that it is from the inside that beauty manifests itself and from that core of being, the outer then follows. I am all too aware that when immersing myself in the upcoming trends and salivating over the couture designs I tend to get caught up in the external. That is not to say that I have a negative opinion of fashion and its place in my world, I simply mean that my view about what fashion truly represents must always be understood so not to lose sight of true beauty. Fashion is not purely vanity, but instead an extension of the wearers already inwardly beautiful self. It is the icing on the proverbial cake, so to speak.

 Believe it or not, void of this little blog of mine and my excitement about publishing my debut novel, which thereby has me constantly announcing progress on all available social media outlets, I generally tend to shy away from being the center of attention and am actually quite the introvert. Perhaps this is why I do tend to select more muted prints or clothing that is void of color all together.

When I originally was advised to begin a blog about my novel for the purpose of having an ongoing account of the process for readers to become familiar with my writing style and my intentions to attach my work to the Because I Am a Girl foundation, I initially retracted and shrugged off the suggestion. Reason being that I find it difficult to write about myself and my innermost thoughts in the moment. Most recently, my publisher requested that I create an "about the author" write up to be used on the inside jacket of my novel. It's been 3 weeks since the request was made and I've come up with every excuse as to why I have not gotten it done or even begun the assignment, ( maybe I'll go a bit easier now when I ask students to write their own autobiographies. Lateness will be more acceptable.).

There's a part of me that feels almost narcissistic when writing about my life accomplishments and I tend to find that there is a fine line between communicating achievements and droning on and on in a "look how woooonderful I am" manner. I mean I'm not about to drown in my own reflection or anything, but by times, I re-read some of my past autobiographically written pieces, whether cover letters, or as extension assignments completed during my English Lit. degree days, and I actually feel nauseated at my egotistical ramblings. Clearly I have not mastered the art of tasteful bragging and self-promotion.

That being said, I know that I must understand the importance, in this case especially, of healthy self-promotion and understand that bragging and purposeful communication of past achievements are two very different things. I will, in fact, step up to the plate, bite the bullet, take the bull by the horns and promote away.... at  least maybe possibly by next week some time, sorta kinda....maybe I'l get it written.

Happy reading!
Jessica Ashley Dafoe