A Pinch of Nostalgia a Hint of Creativity a Load of Determination

While reflecting on my journey from intentional hopes of writing a novel to the end result of actually having it completed and ready for publishing, I've attempted to mentally note the ingredients needed to bring it all about. I'm not a perfectionist when it comes to writing, I'm not a grammatical genius, I don't have the intrinsic and unparalleled ability to write a whole work in iambic pentameter or sing-songy sonnets. My characters aren't overly dynamic and mysterious nor do they embody human nature as one representative creation. Holden Caulfield, Elizabeth Bennet, Dorian Gray, my characters are not. But they are mine and a representation of the facets of life that make me smile and motivate me, daily.

I enjoy finding humour in the everyday, in random situations such as the moment I fall face down on the subway stairs and the majority of the manic crowd scurries and hurdles around or over me, all aside from a young boy who helps me up with a cheeky grin on his face as if to say, "Get it together, lady." I brush off my ensemble, pick up my purse, thank him with a sheepish demeanor and swallow my pride, thankful that I didn't become a tread-marked victim.

I also incorporate emotion and am inspired by what I witness around me; A gentle exchange between a couple at an adjacent table to my own, tears shed over excitement or sadness in a given moment by a friend or acquaintance. I delve into my own experience and, just as an actor does when attempting to get into character, I find myself drawing on past moments in order to relate to the possible emotions experienced by my characters in a created scenario. It's through this vulnerability and by chucking the fear aside of revisiting possibly negative, emotionally charged moments that the best descriptions are created. The characters come to life and are made identifiable, made real. Fear masks creativity. Rip that mask off and just give 'er. Let go and create.

Of course the most pertinent ingredient which allowed this creative spark to result in a full manuscript involved one trait that often is a bit absent from my days, unless a sizable fire is lit under my, by times, lazy  and sizable backside. In the past, when expected to complete a task, of course determination is cranked to the max. However, when I have expected something of myself, ' fits and bursts that dwindle to nothingness' is the more appropriate way to describe its presence in my days.

Determination has been the key to the entire project. Of course some talent or skill is required, of course a creative spark and remaining in touch with experience is necessary, but without the big D, a project like this would be sunk before it ever began sailing.

Fearless determination with a hint of creativity, a pinch of nostalgia and perhaps a dab of wit, a titch of an appreciation for the lighter side of things, a smattering of zeal, a peppering of homegrown nuttiness and I suppose a tidbit of talent; there you have it, the ingredients for a debut novel or any creative project YOU want to get underway.

It's all about the big D! (Get your minds out of the gutter, determination, determination, determination.)

Please follow the links below to learn more about the Because I am a Girl cause initiated by Plan International:

http://becauseiamagirl.ca/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_AQA1xb4Is&feature=youtu.be

http://plan-international.org/

For copy editing services check out my site by clicking here

Follow me on twitter: Jessica Ashley@City_Rhapsody

Happy reading!

Jessica Ashley Dafoe

Fashionably Punctual

I'm on time, always, for everything... and I mean everything. If not, I'm about 20 minutes early. Late? Never. Well, ok, so maybe if some sort of unexpected occurrence transpires, like a flat tire or god forbid I accidentally drop my keys down the garbage chute in a frenzy to be on time, I may be late. In such circumstances, however, I become anxious and worry-filled as if some horrendous punishment is awaiting me at my destination. I'm not just talking about work-related obligations either. I get the same uneasy feeling when attempting to avoid lateness in all scheduled engagements whether a social get together with friends or a dinner date; even a dentist or doctors appointment where when I arrive 10 minutes early, the doctor is generally a half hour late, causes me worry while racing against the clock to get there.

 Perhaps I should see someone about this, or I suppose I could just chalk it up to being a driven and time- conscious individual. It's also a bit of self- inflicted competition that has me constantly attempting to achieve set goals, even those involving time management and punctuality. So I refer to myself as fashionably punctual . By times the "fashionably" portion of this self-selected label is used in the loosest sense of the word as it's sometimes necessary to put stylish clothing selections to the bottom of my list of priorities if it means getting my butt out the door on time.

So evidently, as I'm approaching the date that I had intended my novel to be ready for launch (end of June) my stomach is in knots. Will it be ready to go? I have my fingers and toes crossed that it will, yet the publisher keeps setting me straight by doling out the negatives in regards to possible additional design revision rounds and formatting items etc. Really they are just attempting to encourage me to be realistic and stop being so stringent about a deadline as it really isn't a deadline but an unveiling. Not a death, but a birth. This view on the situation does allow me to step back a bit and stop being so damn hard on myself, but when I get a plan set in place and visualize things panning out a specific way, my often dormant type "A" side awakens. For real, in most situations I'm as carefree and take-it-as-it-comes as one could possibly be. Type 'A' in the grand scheme of things, I am not.

Being fashionably purposeful and fashionably punctual is a balance that I love to strike. Striking poses often accompanies or follows....

So what does this mean for the designated launch date? I have absolutely no freakin clue. It's all in the process and all out of my hands since I handed all that I've worked on for the past year over to the design team and publisher this past week. She's out of my hands and I've got a wonderful assistant waiting in the wings to start the party planning, I'm simply awaiting the go ahead from the ones in charge at this point. Mark the last weekend of June on your calendar, my peeps...better yet circle all of June and July, because my intended exact date has now become a ball park suggestion and I'm taking a deep breath while letting go of being fashionably punctual, if need be, when it comes to my baby's arrival.

Please follow the links below to learn more about the Because I am a Girl cause initiated by Plan International:

http://becauseiamagirl.ca/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_AQA1xb4Is&feature=youtu.be

http://plan-international.org/

For copy editing services check out my site by clicking here

Follow me on twitter: Jessica Ashley@City_Rhapsody

Happy reading!

Jessica Ashley Dafoe

Trust the Process

Oh, the roller coaster that is the creative process....A friend of mine who is an award winning artist recently posted a creative process find outlining the main thought process that one experiences when completing a work. The process is as follows:

1. This is awesome
2. This is tricky
3. This is shit
4. I am shit
5. This might be okay
6. This is awesome

When putting your heart and soul into a task having little to no idea as to how it will pan out or be received by an audience, second guessing the end result is a given. Initially, I began writing my novel as a hobby and a challenge. Many times before I have thought about doing this very thing but just always had some excuse or figment of a road block. "Oh, I'll get to it once I'm done this degree, or find my first full time teaching gig, or later when I've got a few years of teaching under my belt or later when etc....I'm just too busy, there's too much going on..."  Here I am on the other side of the excuses and the final plan of attack. The novel is complete and I love that I faced the challenge I set for myself head on, but the questions that irk me remain:
Is it any good?
Will it have an audience?
Is it purely a keepsake for me or is it something worth sharing?

About a third of the way through the writing process I decided that my manuscript would be more. I believed in it, and it's likability to a wide audience. I read it over fully after I added the final word and closed the final quotation. I felt drawn and was able to relate to the experiences of the characters...my characters. I laughed out loud at the funny interactions and intentionally ridiculous bits, but wasn't sure if it was actually funny or simply funny to me because I was so damn delirious and tired from putting every spare moment into writing my 386 page creation. So I read it again, and again, each time becoming more uncertain and less sure of how enticing it may be and as to how well it would engage a reader.

About two weeks ago I sent my manuscript off to be reviewed editorially. My heart was in my throat for the entirety it was undergoing literary autopsy. Meanwhile, I continued to drive myself nutty by returning to its pages and further scrutinizing my efforts. I found myself at stage 3/4 of the creative process. "OMG this is pure poop...it's so expected, no one is going to find this exciting or 'tantalizing'. A year of my life and spare time down the drain."  I knew that the only thing that would nudge me on to 5/6 would be a favourable review. Even a "Great debut novel, but needs tweaking and a structural overhaul" would have sufficed.

After a week and a half, my literary judgement day arrived. A single email from my publisher with the subject line Editorial Review Attached sat in my inbox ready for perusal. I felt faint, with eyes half closed I clicked the document. I began reading tentatively. Dumbfounded and in a trance-like state, I searched for the negatives. They never came. Not one negative comment was written about the tale and its structure. All that I was advised to do was to change a couple of words as they were a bit overused, and to double check the French that I included, seeing as a few plurals were used where singular usage belonged. Note to self: Don't attempt to write a novel in French.


The review was comprised of phrases such as 'amusement-filled', 'pure entertainment', 'a romp that is full of energy', 'excellent writing'  describing my efforts to create The Tantalizing Tale.

Then I began to think "Did someone pay this reviewer off? Is this for real? Aren't editorial reviews meant to rip apart a seemingly completed work only to cause the author to be knocked down a peg or two causing them the feeling that they are to begin almost entirely from scratch?" I suppose I had been hard enough on myself in the weeks prior as it was.

When I finally came to realize that this was no fluke, that I hadn't received the wrong attachment, that this was intended for me, I wept. Emotion overtook me as I thought about all of the hours I poured my heart out and into creating this tale that I intend as 'pure entertainment'.

That's not to say I'm back to the "this is awesome" stage of the creative process, but I'm well on my way and am sitting at a solid 5. Presently, I'm searching for additional reviews so I can stop asking random people on the street to pinch me back to reality (I'm getting concerned looks), and instead have full confirmation that I can and will reach that final stage of the creative process.

 And that end result, my friends, will be pretty freakin awesome....

Please follow the links below to learn more about the Because I am a Girl cause initiated by Plan International:

http://becauseiamagirl.ca/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_AQA1xb4Is&feature=youtu.be

http://plan-international.org/

For copy editing services check out my site by clicking here

Follow me on twitter: Jessica Ashley@City_Rhapsody

Happy reading!

Jessica Ashley Dafoe

Vanity and the Narcissist

Toronto's World MasterCard Fashion Week is nearing its end and after viewing newly unveiled designs that are most certainly a feast for the eyes and titillating to the senses for a host of reasons, whether because of the playful prints used in Laura Siegel's line or the bold and brooding solid collection displayed by Matiere Noire; the  feminine yet rustic and visually appealing medley of looks shown by Joe Fresh or the luxe and ultra-hip presentation by Mackage, the week thus far has not disappointed. As fashionistas and fashionistos alike await the remaining designers to parade their masterpieces down the runway, I, like-wise, am eagerly anticipating what more the week holds in store.

As mentioned in my previous post, well, for me anyway, style has been kicked up a notch when it comes to daily wear selections. I'm reflecting on my wardrobe choices over the past 4 days at a job where I use glitter, patterns and incorporate hues for arts and crafts as opposed to couture designs, and I realize that I did in fact go that extra mile in celebration of this week's tribute to Canada's remarkable design talent. My usual teaching wear involving comfy leggings and belted sweater dresses paired with ballet flats were replaced with wide-legged trousers, pencil skirts, Polo shirts cardigans and heeled boots or pumps. To be honest, I don't even feel that this was a conscious effort; the event coverage, along with the multitudes of beautiful Instagram photos posted all over social media, the talk of favorite designs and lines among friends and acquaintances simply subtly inspired me to take more pride in my appearance at my daily 8-4 workplace.

I've become overly aware that there is a fine line between taking pride in one's appearance and going to such an extreme that the outer self is of utmost importance. I always profess to be of the mindset that it is from the inside that beauty manifests itself and from that core of being, the outer then follows. I am all too aware that when immersing myself in the upcoming trends and salivating over the couture designs I tend to get caught up in the external. That is not to say that I have a negative opinion of fashion and its place in my world, I simply mean that my view about what fashion truly represents must always be understood so not to lose sight of true beauty. Fashion is not purely vanity, but instead an extension of the wearers already inwardly beautiful self. It is the icing on the proverbial cake, so to speak.

 Believe it or not, void of this little blog of mine and my excitement about publishing my debut novel, which thereby has me constantly announcing progress on all available social media outlets, I generally tend to shy away from being the center of attention and am actually quite the introvert. Perhaps this is why I do tend to select more muted prints or clothing that is void of color all together.

When I originally was advised to begin a blog about my novel for the purpose of having an ongoing account of the process for readers to become familiar with my writing style and my intentions to attach my work to the Because I Am a Girl foundation, I initially retracted and shrugged off the suggestion. Reason being that I find it difficult to write about myself and my innermost thoughts in the moment. Most recently, my publisher requested that I create an "about the author" write up to be used on the inside jacket of my novel. It's been 3 weeks since the request was made and I've come up with every excuse as to why I have not gotten it done or even begun the assignment, ( maybe I'll go a bit easier now when I ask students to write their own autobiographies. Lateness will be more acceptable.).

There's a part of me that feels almost narcissistic when writing about my life accomplishments and I tend to find that there is a fine line between communicating achievements and droning on and on in a "look how woooonderful I am" manner. I mean I'm not about to drown in my own reflection or anything, but by times, I re-read some of my past autobiographically written pieces, whether cover letters, or as extension assignments completed during my English Lit. degree days, and I actually feel nauseated at my egotistical ramblings. Clearly I have not mastered the art of tasteful bragging and self-promotion.

That being said, I know that I must understand the importance, in this case especially, of healthy self-promotion and understand that bragging and purposeful communication of past achievements are two very different things. I will, in fact, step up to the plate, bite the bullet, take the bull by the horns and promote away.... at  least maybe possibly by next week some time, sorta kinda....maybe I'l get it written.

Happy reading!
Jessica Ashley Dafoe

Let the World be Your Runway (or Catwalk)

Tomorrow marks the beginning of a number of important events. I suppose the most pertinent to me is that it's the first day back to the grind after a restful week away from the school (wahn wahn wahn). I prefer to focus on the events I'm a touch more enthused about which are also set to commence in a few short hours.

Well firstly, how can St. Patty's Day go unmentioned! A day where we all dress up in green (not typically a color I migrate to when making my daily wear selections) and have an excuse to begin drinking green beer at 10 a.m. Of course I will not be partaking in that portion of the tradition. Perhaps green Kool-Aid with the students will have to suffice. What I find comical is that a large number of participants in these festivities haven't a clue as to the story behind the day of celebration. I have to admit, I'm one of them. My Irish ancestors would surely be offended. After a couple of pints, does it really matter? Let's just call it a fantastic way to let loose and socialize while sporting temporary foamy green mustaches that have been caked on from the incessant swigging. I'm proud of my one quarter Irish heritage! Cheers!

Along with those foamy mustaches, I believe street style may be temporarily amped up a notch for the Toronto fashion scene's big event. Toronto Fashion Week begins tomorrow and carries on through to the weekend. I have to say, although I enjoy clothes and fashion and also paying attention to the incredible design talent within this city and country, Fashion Week has never been quite as exciting to me as the one set to begin. There are various reasons for this; one being that my aforementioned gal pal, L.C., who has worked her tail off to get her foot in the door as a fashion insider, has just been granted an accredited press pass for the entirety of the week, due to proving herself  as a talented, knowledgeable and well-versed fashion writer in Fashion Studio Magazine. I am beyond ecstatic for her and what this means for her future success in the fashion world.

Interestingly enough, the main character of my novel The Tantalizing Tale of a Bitter Sweetheart works tirelessly to break into the fashion world. This obviously has meant a good deal of research, on my part, to understand the workings of the fashion industry, the process to creating a line, the elements involved in a single runway show, the seasonal shows etc. I have attempted to bridge fiction with non-fiction in the area of fashion weeks and media written about within the novel and hope that I have done the industry justice in the manner that I have included it.

I suppose this fashion week is of interest for a multitude of reasons, not only to celebrate the success of a good friend and cheer her on, or to marvel at the newly unveiled collections, but to also edit where need be in relation to the events in the novel that are heavily fashion-world focused.

Lucian Matis, the design team behind the Rudsak brand, Vawk and the design team behind the Mackage brand are a few of my favorite T.O. and Canadian designers that surely always impress. I know that the week will uncover a few more gems to be added to the list.

I intend to work my runway all week, even if that runway is surrounded by 9 year old students and paper airplanes and my selected daily outfits are coated with chalk and paint by day's end.

Please follow the links below to learn more about the Because I am a Girl cause initiated by Plan International:

http://becauseiamagirl.ca/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_AQA1xb4Is&feature=youtu.be

http://plan-international.org/

For copy editing services check out my site by clicking here

Follow me on twitter: Jessica Ashley@City_Rhapsody

Happy reading!

Jessica Ashley Dafoe

Spring Fling to Summer Sweetness

Well, it's Mid-Winter Break for schools in Toronto and usually, although "winter" is included in the title, the seasons have begun to change and it is about that time to start shopping all of the new spring trends. I'm gazing out from my 10th floor condo into a swirl of blustery snow, once again, after yesterday feeling quite optimistic that we had bid adieu to the now dreaded white stuff.  We can dream can't we?

After enduring one of the worst winters on record for the city, I'm sure we could all use a little pick me up. I was hoping to be enjoying runs along the lake and strolling jacketless, sporting perhaps a light cardigan in its place, through Bloor West Village, over these holidays. Instead, I headed even further north to a location that is most often colder than Toronto; cold is cold after all. Once you've experienced instant frostbite due to needing an exposed hand to grip an early morning coffee while trekking to work, you've pretty much prepped yourself for the even greater White North. (Yes, I'll endure just about anything to ensure I've got that perfect cup of coffee to begin my teaching days.)

I have to say, that in place of the usual seasonal rejuvenation that occurs at this time and naturally brightens spirits, faking the warmer temperatures and treating yourself to a bit of bodily rejuvenation at a relaxing spa, is just what the doctor ordered in these desperate times. I visited Body Blitz in Toronto not long ago and followed this up with a visit to Lac Leamy Hilton's Spa this week. Both experiences were like a temporary escape from the relentless elements, yet not quite as effective as a beach holiday.(There's still time to hop a plane, however.)

Toronto Fashion Week is fast approaching, and though the fashion forward are eagerly anticipating the fresh designs to be unveiled, I must say that while the city remains blanketed in what one would normally associate with a 'ringing- in of the new year' style snow, it unfortunately puts a bit of a damper on the event. Let's hope the luck of the Irish results in some spring-like temps, for the event that is set to commence on March 17th.

Likewise, I am looking ahead to spring 2014 with excitement but often am discouraged by what seems like a never-ending deep-freeze. My novel is set to be launched late spring-early summer and I've begun making the plans for the launch soiree. It is, however, quite difficult to imagine decor for the patio and summer cocktails I intend to serve at the event, whilst completely under the effects of mind-numbing temperatures. It's like the ice-cream headache that wouldn't quit.

In due time I hope to be devouring a dish of Rocky Road attempting to combat the sweltering heat. It's just around the corner. IT HAS TO BE!

Please follow the links below to learn more about the Because I am a Girl cause initiated by Plan International:

http://becauseiamagirl.ca/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_AQA1xb4Is&feature=youtu.be

http://plan-international.org/

For copy editing services check out my site by clicking here

Follow me on twitter: Jessica Ashley@City_Rhapsody

Happy reading!

Jessica Ashley Dafoe

Destination Relaxation

After a week wherein I was forced to lay my own muse aside in order to focus on the demands brought forth by my 8 to 4 gig teaching future world leaders, writing report cards and working tirelessly to prepare their proudly written manuscripts to be published by a children's publishing house, I can now get back to basics; back to focusing on my own manuscript, that which has safely arrived back from my editor looking even more stunning than before and ready to be further glamified by the publishing house.

In all honesty, however, the balancing act is a tough one. This week was most certainly the most grueling I have experienced since the beginning of the year, and this summation of the past 7 days has made me stop and reflect. Not on myself, but on individuals that I know who are constantly expected to wear 2, or even 3, hats on an ongoing basis. I give kudos to all of you career 9 to 5 or even sometimes 9-9 moms and dads out there that I know. I have great respect for you because while I am here sighing and complaining about my heavier 8-6 days of the past week, and not being able to focus on my passions and self, you all are in constant demand with zero personal time.  But you all do it well and wear those hats like rock stars.

As for me, well, when stress has of late been cranked to the max and there is a window of opportunity to escape and leave it all behind; to just clear the mind and rejuvenate the soul, I act on impulse (something I have actually been chiding my students to steer away from, being impulsive) But I 'm not talking about jumping on a toboggan and sliding down the indoor school steps here, as a few of my boys did this week. I'm talking about heading to a destination of calmness and enjoyment. One that washes away the week's memories wherein a student, who has decided he has an obsession with fire, brought in matches and began striking them without a second thought, nearly setting my classroom carpet on fire. 

So after the final report card was written, the last trip with my boys to the principal's office was complete, and the final  student's manuscript was signed, sealed and delivered among the rest to the children's book publishing house, destination relaxation became my focus. The destination chosen along with my counterpart for the getaway to serenity, I now find myself in surroundings which make those memories fade into nothingness for the time being and new found memories of enjoyment and stress-free revelry are forming. 

My experience has always been that making time for me is of utmost importance. Whether by curling up with a good book away from the demands of the everyday, or jet setting to a beach surrounded locale for a 36 hour unwind, or heading to wine country for the much needed effects that a stellar glass of vino brings, me time is a must. 

That being stated, this sudden escape has actually lit a fire under me (figuratively, not literally as my pyromaniac student attempted to achieve) to begin creating the outline for my next novel project. I can't wait to get started!

Please follow the links below to learn more about the Because I am a Girl cause initiated by Plan International:

http://becauseiamagirl.ca/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_AQA1xb4Is&feature=youtu.be

http://plan-international.org/

For copy editing services check out my site by clicking here

Follow me on twitter: Jessica Ashley@City_Rhapsody

Happy reading!

Jessica Ashley Dafoe