City Sophisticate

Friday, 24 January 2014

Separation Anxiety

Well I've gone and done it! I've handed my novel over to be edited and I must say that it's producing a touch of anxiety in me. So much so, that I'm a bit stifled in the moment. I just want her back in one piece, to not be picked a part and rebuilt with only a hint of her original charm. It's merely a waiting game now. But I remember that it is important to not rush things; anything worth having is worth waiting for. I swear I'm still referring to my novel...

So while I'm anxiously stewing over which sections of the novel will remain intact, and which may be gone with the wind, I've skimmed through it lovingly, and have selected a few of the many meaningful quotes which, sadly, may be no more. I selected 21 as a representation of my age... OK , plus a few ;) They are listed in no particular order.

1. It being my first day at a new job, I quickly decide to put the inner office attempt at romance on the back burner until at least the second day.

2. He dragged me out of the water as if I were a beached seal, bandaged my head (not the look I was going for), and determined I had a mild concussion. Then he suggested I see a doctor and went on his way. It’s the story of my life. The hot ones always leave me with wounds and scurry off.

3. When I’m with Nina, I constantly feel in awe and almost jealous of the manner in which she cheerfully frolics through life. When I’m with Angelica, aside from wanting to take a pair of scissors and chop off her perfectly maintained honey blonde hair... well no, I guess that's about it.

4. Here I go, through the motions of making myself feel better about what is clearly rejection in its rawest form. Girl attempts to get guy’s attention, girl gives herself a hickey burn in the process, guy gives disdainful look and avoids girl at all costs. Cut and dried, no question, the definition of rejection.

5. What in the hell just happened here? I was ready to let Randall take me in his arms and he has a bloody fiancée? What a day, what a day. All I need is a couple dozen cats and to take up needle point now I suppose.

6. Pay increase or not, just the thought of getting compensated to give up my dreams on a daily basis makes my stomach turn, and anxiety take over.

7. “It is always the case that the toughest roads bring the greatest rewards and if talent is there, and was there, turning away from your passion to head down the easy and dependable route is actually quite defeating, now isn’t it? You completely despise your career, don’t you? If you despise your career, something must be done. Your mind has got to live and breathe fashion if you are going to make the transition to the fashion industry. There can be no fall back career. IF you have a fall back career then that leads you to be lack lustre and on the fence within the fashion world. No editor wants to review a designer who simply designs on the side. Fashion and design MUST be your focus and your entire life in order to be respected and reputable".-Victoria Lewis

8. “Dr. Richardson, I hope I didn’t wake you. I’m just calling for a quick bit of advice. I was hoping to get in to see you before I leave to Paris today, but the week flew by so quickly and now here I am as agitated and worry filled as ever.”

“Darling, what about? Is it still about holding men’s attention? You know that only comes with practice and what a perfect place Paris is to do just that. Oh I am so envious of you, love; all the ruggedly handsome men with their euro-fit pants. They’ll be reciting love poetry to you in no time my dear!”-Dr. Lola Richardson

9. Finally an airport attendant joins in and he unjams the luggage piece. I fall flat on my back once again, with the suitcase flat on top of me. Replace this suitcase with that airport attendant and I’d be in heaven.

10. I turn from the doorway and hear a rustling behind the bar then a pop sound. At the same moment I see a cork come flying across the suite, ricocheting off the far wall. Nina pops up holding a bottle of, what appears to be, extremely expensive champagne and my immediate thought is " And so it begins!"

11. As I enter Café Lateral on this majestic Parisian morning I can’t help but notice its proximity to L’Arc de Triomph and I resonate on the irony of my current situation and what that monument represents.

12. However, the longer I stare, the more I become transfixed and comfortably lost in the moment, unaware of all that surrounds me, in time and space; unaware of the comings and goings in this little café; simply captivated and held prisoner willingly by this feeling and this perfect being who has somehow wandered into my Parisian morning espresso time. His eyes emanate a warmth and comfort that I have never before felt at this capacity.

13. This time the scene had far greater meaning and inspiration in it. La Seine, a winding body of flowing water making its way through the bustling city, although simply a river, became much more than that to me in the moment. If that river could talk, it would divulge stories as old as the earth upon which it flowed; tales of love, and achievement and those of war and bloodshed. The streets were rich in this history and La Seine had, and will continue to have, a front row seat for it all. We continue to transfix ourselves in the gurgling movement of the water for a moment then I nudge Nina to join me on the continued journey back to the pinnacle of the Parisian skyline.

14. The remainder of the afternoon takes the two of us touring beauties to La Louvre where we stand speechless in front of the being of restraint herself; the infamous Mona Lisa whose stoic and ambiguous expression seems to be the very portrait of enigmatic mystery. There is something about the eyes and the subtle smirk that tells me she was a lovely, misunderstood, vivacious woman.

15. "Portia, fashion, it is like making love. Each season is like a new lover with whom a glorious connection is made. As each piece is unveiled it is like a caressing of the senses, awakening them once again like an erotic touch. Great, true fashion and styling must create this feeling within, keep you wanting more. It must be insatiable like a lover’s first kiss on the cheek and promote yearning to feel more and to go further into the creations of the designer." Josee Parent

16.The memory until now has been more like a haunting reminder of a love lost, but in this time and place, I let it overtake me in the most blissful way;

17. "Portia Delaney, you are the reason that this flower in full blossom has found her way into my once romantically barren life. By becoming a road block to me and my bicycle, thereby flipping me onto the hood of a nearby car where I lay with a fractured leg, you somehow paved the way to true love. Thank you from the bottom of my heart."- Leonard Scott

18. "Darling first of all, never regret the experience of taking on a lover for a short time, because although you may feel sad and destitute now, at one precise moment he was exactly who and what you needed." -Dr. Lola Richardson

19. She steps in and puts her teal colored pump on my chest to keep me down on the ground.

I’m not helpless; I’m not dirt; I’m not the groveling nobody she just transformed me into! She won’t win like she’s planned! Not like this!

20. The serene setting is unfortunately juxtaposed against the storm of emotions torridly ripping through my body. I remind myself to breathe, pay the cab driver and walk on as if I’m walking the plank.

21. I decide to keep the recent events to myself and carry on in my determination to use success as my weapon of choice.

The publishing journey has only just begun and even still I, much like Portia through a large portion of the novel, am a restless ball of nerves in the best possible way.

Please follow the links below to learn more about the Because I am a Girl cause initiated by Plan International:
http://becauseiamagirl.ca/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_AQA1xb4Is&feature=youtu.be
http://plan-international.org/

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Follow me on twitter: Jessica Ashley@City_Rhapsody

Happy reading!
Jessica Ashley Dafoe

Saturday, 18 January 2014

Food for Thought

As I said in previous posts, I'm currently reading through my completed novel and determining how it flows as a whole. After spending an entire year on a project like this, it is interesting to see how the events and experiences occurring in my own life over this duration have shaped the tone and mood of the novel itself.

Food is a major part of who I am. No I'm not Betty Crocker in the kitchen, but I am driven by my foodie tendencies. My teaching examples almost always involve food to simplify concepts and for understanding. My current grade 4 class calls me out on it every time I select sushi rolls, Kit Kat bars or pizza as a means to teach them fractions and measurement. If I am aware that I will be indulging in Asian cuisine in the evening, my mind fixates continuously on this for the entirety of the day. I know I'm not the only one out there with this mind-set. Come on, support me in this...

Upon reading my novel, I am entertained by how I've written Portia's palate pleasing selections as an extension of my own. This was completely unintentional and the majority of Portia's character is far removed from my own tendencies in terms of interaction and behaviour. It seems as though, when it comes to food, my own likes and dislikes found their way in relentlessly.

In the beginning portion of the novel, Portia is down-trodden and a bit blue. She indulges in my go to snack when events have got me down, the Italian delight, pizza-pie! Pizza of any kind has this natural ability to comfort and awaken the obstinate senses that tend to shut off in times of distress. It's a favorite of people young and old for a reason. Margarita, Hawaiian, Meat Lovers, cheese and pepperoni, goat cheese with roasted vegetable... what's not to love! Damn now I want to order a pie..

As Portia's motivation and inspiration kick in and she begins to push her boundaries, her taste buds follow. Her selections become much more international going from Indian curry chicken to Parmasan veal schnitzel, to pho and tempura sushi back to delectable home made desserts then to butternut squash soup, sprinkled with nutmeg followed by baked salmon, smothered with a honey-dijon sauce and paired with a lovely Pinot Gris. ***sigh*** My mouth is actually watering and I think I may need to make a sushi, curry chicken run on top of ordering that pie.

And then there is chocolate, which should be in a food group all its own...It's a big part of my life and finds its way into the day-to-day of Ms. Delaney.

Needless to say, the girl enjoys her food, as do I. Don't even get me started on the drinks! Cosmos, Manhattan's, Merlot, double shot espresso etc... my taste buds, so incessant, are responsible for the culinary focus of Portia's journey. Bon appetit! Bottoms up! "There is no sincerer love than the love of food." -George Bernard Shaw

Happy reading!
Jessica Ashley Dafoe

Monday, 13 January 2014

Real Reverie

I was listening to the radio on my way to work this morning and the first thing I heard Roz and Mocha talking about on my favourite morning show was the no pants subway ride that happened yesterday. I thought to myself, "Hmmm, no pants on the subway? That's different." Then they continued to explain that the hoards of pantless participants were baring almost all for a celebration of silliness that has found its way to numerous metropolises annually for 13 years now and I thought "Now that is awesomely different!" I am a silly sort and a different sort so it is music to my ears that silliness is celebrated annually. As Coco said "To be irreplaceable one must always be different". I'm unsure as to how the elegant Ms. Chanel would react to the pantless commuter trend on the catwalk, however. I can see her now grasping at her pearls and gasping in pure disdain at the sight. It would certainly be a "different" and dare I say "irreplaceable" one.

I am sure that when Coco uttered those words her hopes were for individuals to strive to better themselves in order to in turn be respected and accepted. Being so at ease with yourself that you are perfectly confident enough to allow the free spirit within to be expressed by way of humour and fun whether it be by partaking in a pantless subway ride or giving it all you've got at a karaoke bar, from my viewpoint, is a manner of bettering oneself as well. It's so unquestionably necessary to enjoy the frivolities in life. Learning to laugh more and make light of situations that should not cause us the stress that we may sometimes allow, will only result in a better life.

I struggled with the decision as to whether or not I would write my novel in a serious voice or to involve my natural tendency to be lighthearted and humorous in my writing. I figured why fight off and lock away what is innate within? There were moments when I was tempted to add somewhat inappropriate language or actions as it seemed fitting for a specific character. I always thought twice, mainly "What will my parents think when they read this?"

Well the discussion came up not long ago with my parents when I was discussing the editing process. My parents quite obviously asked to read my novel as soon as possible and I replied, "Well you can, but I just want you both to know that there may be some circumstances and some words that you find highly inappropriate..but..." Dad stopped me by replying, "Jess, nothing you could write would or could ever shock or surprise me. We're proud of every word." Suddenly a weight was lifted, allowing me to purely and truly write and edit without restraint. How could I have ever had a worry in the world on the subject when the very two who I was most nervous about offending with my silliness are the king and queen of silly themselves and the ones I inherited my nuttiness from?

I suppose this is all to say that staying true to who you are makes you irreplaceable and the best at whatever it is you choose to be or do. Dreams are made real when we throw away our tendencies to fit some restrictive societal mold or to please others.

Break the mold and simply be.

Happy reading!

Jessica Ashely

Saturday, 4 January 2014

"Nobody puts Baby in a corner"

So the time has arrived to begin a new chapter. No, not a new chapter in my novel, but in the novel writing process. The transition from pouring my heart out in hopes of creating a plot and developing characters that will be engaging and identifiable to readers, to that of perfecting, polishing and printing the said creation (Ie. primping, no not pimping, primping it for the party, so to speak) is underway.

Over the years I have heard novelists and writers of lengthy pieces describe the process of creating these as" a labour of love". I now know what it is they were referring to. Although a fictional novel, the characters that are introduced and events that unfold, throughout my work, are a part of me. Writing is not just a hobby or a way to spend time, it's a passion and a love of mine. The product of that love is like my baby. Don't worry mamas! I don't intend to imply that writing a novel involves nearly the pain, hormone induced emotions, nor the resulting miracle. I simply view my novel as a part of me that I wish to be presented in the best way possible.

So this means taking the steps to get it to its absolute best! I, therefore, now embark on the exciting journey of completing the first edit. Yes, I've been editing all along, but I've begun an intensive read-through and am nearing the half way point. I suppose it is a good sign that I am just as engaged to read on as I would be had I known nothing as to what is to happen next. I was reading a chapter at a coffee shop yesterday that I had completely forgotten about, and on numerous occasions I found myself laughing hysterically while other patrons gave me sideways glances. I sense this is also a good sign. On the other hand, it could very well mean I'm simply sleep deprived and a bit nutty. In due time you all can be the judge of that.

The toughest portion of the process lies ahead, wherein I must hand over my "baby" to the experienced editor I have selected. This will no doubt involve some harsh criticism and suggestions for omissions of certain sections. This will be heartbreaking for me and downright torturous. It may sound silly to some and you may be thinking, "Hell, they're only words and if the editor's a professional then it's for the best!" It's just that when you have a vision and a plan and you've seen it through only to have a portion of what was produced eliminated as if it had no purpose, it gives a sense of incompleteness. It's all in the process.

From there, the cover art, dedications (perhaps you will make this page!) and biography will be produced. My baby will finally be born and primped, ready for publishing and ebook conversion. She'll be presented at my novel launch party where guests will receive a free copy with a donation of any amount to the Because I am a Girl initiative. Details for the event to follow!

I intend to continue this blog page to share more about the adventures of publishing. I will also begin branching off and writing articles based on numerous and various topics that interest me in the moment.

Happy reading!

Tuesday, 17 December 2013

Champagne Wishes: Tis the Season

In keeping with the spirit of this festive season and contemplating what the new year may have in store, I've decided to make a little wish list for what I can already sense will be a fabulous 2014. Here are my wishes for the future:

That I visit at least two new destinations in this fascinating world of ours, over the course of the year. I've got to keep chipping away at my ever-lengthening bucket list. 2014 is as good a year as any. Travel, travel, travel.

That I learn a new language so I can speak to the charming locals of the destinations I select to travel to. Perhaps I will begin with brushing up on my French. The people of Paris and the south of France would certainly get a treat if they had to converse with me while I stutter away in my current sub par French speak.

That I will stop stressing over the small insignificant details of my day-to-day and instead celebrate the little victories.

That I will attempt one thing each day that causes a mild rush of fear at the thought of. Fear and excitement will become synonymous in my world, because it is due to melding the two that the best adventures happen.

That I reach out to those I may have lost touch with and invest more in my friendships. I often become so caught up in the routines of life that I sometimes neglect to leave time in my schedule for dear friends of my past and even those of my present. Connecting, reflecting as well as sharing stories and laughs make the best new memories.

That I show my family, especially my parents, just how much they mean to me, daily. It's difficult to truly demonstrate and communicate the impact their unconditional love, support and guidance has had on me and how appreciative I am of their encouragement and the wise words that are always formulated so perfectly anytime I need a bit of advice.

That as I grow one year older, I will grow one year younger at heart. I want to roll down more hills and frolic aimlessly in more fields (that one's for you Sara) without giving a damn as to who witnesses. Perhaps a re-visitation to the activity of cow tipping is on the horizon.

That I truly begin connecting my past failures and mistakes to my current successes and achievements, whether in regards to my career, relationships or health. It is by way of the slips and scars that the summit is reached.

Happy reading!

Jessica Ashley

Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Fashion Speaks

Fashion is artwork that we wear, day in and day out; the art that reveals and speaks volumes about who we are without the need of uttering so much as a word. This is not to say that fashion is the most pertinent or critical method to communicate who we are as people, but it is the most apparent layer of our being , so therefore has the most impact, initially. Surely we are about more than the clothes we select to put on our backs, but isn't it true that an individual’s choice of clothing, hair style, shoe choice, and even accessory choice all impact our initial perception of him or her? And even more so, doesn't it truly allow us to determine whether there is a commonality or a uniqueness that intrigues us to learn more? Fashion is a treat for the senses; a visual melody of hues, fabrics, silhouettes and textures.

A flowing, flowered print maxi dress softly communicates a comfortable elegance, tastefulness and grace. A sequined black mini, paired with a blazer and sling-backed pumps communicate business-ready with a fun and flirty flare. A comfortable pair of faded and distressed denim, matched with an over-sized blouse or sweater communicates comfortable, casual and ready for coffee talks. What we select on a daily basis to clothe ourselves in, whether we intend it or not, transmits a certain message to those around us.

It is for this reason that Portia Delaney, the main protagonist and narrator of my upcoming novel, despises her work attire. A medical office administrator is not left with much choice when it comes to daily fashion selections. It boils down to one very boring and abrasive word, "scrubs".

Alright, outfit, yes outfit. Well this is the most inexcusable tidbit of all. I’m here selecting an outfit for a first day at a job where my only selection can be from an assortment of various coloured scrubs, when I want to be making a selection between Gucci and Versace. Lavender it is, I suppose. With that disgruntled decision made, I reach for my terribly ordinary lavender scrubs, quickly pull them on, jet into the bathroom and whisk a brush through my hair while applying a pinch of foundation and bronzer, because I’m too pale to even stand it. I add a bit of tinted lip gloss and I’m set to go. Yes to go to my, err….ummm… bore of a career. Pay increase or not, just the thought of getting compensated to give up my dreams on a daily basis makes my stomach turn, and anxiety take over.

Portia initially allows herself to suffer from fashion workday/weekender syndrome. Her career choice limits her ability to express herself by way of her true sense of fashion and she’s left feeling drab and masked throughout the entirety of the work week until Friday evening when she truly feels inspired to dig out her designer duds.

As she becomes more committed to attaining her dream career as a fashion designer and stylist to the stars her drive opens doors for her career and the doors of her wardrobe. All the showstopper looks collected over the years are finally strutted on the regular, and the true outer Portia is able to make a full appearance as desired.

“Portia Delaney, you look like you should be on the cover of one of those big time fashion mags you’ll soon be styling for!” She remains completely fixated on me and proceeds to accost me by running her hands all over the crinoline and layers of my couture masterpiece. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and admit that I would want to have my way with me too. The emerald green fit and flare gown is so flattering to my bust and waistline with the scooped neckline and the corset style bodice, I look like I’m straight out of Vanity Fair, the William Makepace Thackery novel, not the magazine. My hair is now piled in ringlets on my head and bedazzled with pearls. My exposed neck is adorned with a rose gold chain, elegant yet understated with a tiny pearl encased diamond dangling from its end. I’ve finished this ancient-made-new again look off with my BCGB stilettos and an ear to ear fuchsia pink smile

The pieces and products in the everyday life of the superlative and creatively freed Portia Delaney include the following:

Fierce footwear

Whether dazzling crowds with her designs or finding herself as the one being dazzled by her handsome companion, Portia’s footwear is always first rate and usually increases her 5 ft 6 inch frame by 3-4 inches.

Enormous shades

Let’s face it ladies, when we can get away with it, going au natural in the eye makeup department is always a possibility when you've got some large stylish frames to throw over your recently awakened and puffed up eyes.

Marc Jacobs tote

In the early chapters of the novel, it is this signature piece that allows Portia to still feel some connection to her fashionista tendencies during the gruelling 9-5 days at her scrub- overrun office.

A little black dress (or 50)

I recently had the pleasure of attending the opening of the Kate Spade store in the neighbourhood of Yorkville. The event was hosted by ELLE Canada and in the words spoken so eloquently at the opening by their Editor in chief, Ms. Noreen Flanagan, “Every girl should have at least 50 little black dresses in her closet”.

A comfy pair of loose fitting boyfriend style jeans

For those days of jet setting, meeting up for chats with the girls or having a quiet evening in, the boyfriend denim is a must.

Vibrant shades of lip glosses and lipsticks

Red, fuchsia , maroon, violet, frosted pink, whatever the colour, a well-defined lip is never a bad idea.

Beyond Portia and the world of trends, style and fads, fashion promotes the opportunity to allow true individuality to shine if we stay true to ourselves.

Happy reading!

Jessica Ashley

Friday, 6 December 2013

A Tribute to Toronto (T.O., T.Ro, T.dot, Tarana etc.)

I have selected the city of Toronto to be the home base for the main character of my novel for a variety of reasons. I am coming to the end of my novel writing process. I've completed 22 chapters of the intended 24 and an eagerness and excitement is overtaking me at the thought of beginning my next writing project; this being, starting up an online lifestyle magazine. The magazine will include articles and editorials on everything from health, wellness and fashion to the newest hot spots and upcoming events. This new venture will allow me to share, on the regular, all of the reasons I already love Toronto while also discovering new reasons to love this remarkable city! The magazine will be a tribute to all that the G.T.A has to offer and will focus on exposing its beauty and appeal by way of real people and businesses that make it what it is, fabulous!

Mayor Rob Ford aside, the metropolis that is the T.dot is a melting pot of talented, hard working dreamers and revelers who seek to make this city the best that it can be. Recently voted "Most Youthful City in the World" by the Youthfulcities initiative, Toronto provides just the environment for a young entrepreneur, student, lawyer, teacher, actor, musician etc. to thrive in his or her career or studies, whilst being able to maintain a balanced enjoyment filled lifestyle due to the infinite list of things to do, places to go and people to see.

Ten reasons I heart Toronto:

10. It's warmer in the winter than the city I grew up in is!

Much love, Ottawa. You are always in my heart.

Winter surfing at The Beaches in Toronto!

9. The shopping.

Helloooo Yorkville, Eaton's Centre, Yorkdale and Queen West!

8. The entirely entertaining public transit journeys.

I will never forget being serenaded by a woman who truly believed she was Whitney Houston while riding on the Bloor/Danforth line. Her rendition of "The Greatest Love of All" brought a tear to my eye and had the entire subway car singing along with her.

7. The markets including the ever so popular and historical St. Lawrence Market.

Aside from the more permanent locations, there is also no shortage of pop up markets offering the best of country goodness in the heart of the city.

6. The historical landmarks, museums and galleries.

The Distillery District is one of my faves, because who doesn't want to enjoy a delicious beer in a historical setting and meander along cobblestone streets only to find delicious pastries, coffees and fascinating art work? I'll be heading to the District's Christmas Market this weekend. Head on down!

5. The diverse communities and neighbourhoods.

One I find myself visiting frequently in the summer is The Beaches. Can't get away to the Caribbean like you had planned? Head to the Beaches to catch those rays then burn off the triple scoop double chocolate ice cream cone you consumed by strolling or jogging down the boardwalk a few miles.

4. The nightlife and entertainment.

King West is perpetually reinventing itself and the nightlife is always stellar. Can't get in to one event or club? You're sure to find a brand new venue, right around the corner, offering free admission and an atmosphere that will make you forget you ever intended to go elsewhere.

3. The restaurants.

If you're a foodie, Toronto is the city to be in. New top rate restaurants are constantly opening their doors to the masses in this city and no matter what you're in the mood for, be it Chinese, Moroccan or Greek etc., you're sure to find it within a 5 kilometre vicinity of wherever you are.

2. The festivals and events.

Is there ever a weekend in Toronto that there isn't a festival of some sort happening? I pose this question in hopes of an answer. Please do tell!

1. The people.

This multicultural metropolis is home to some of the most charismatic and incredible people. By saying this, I'm not simply referring to the iconic figures residing in this city, but those remarkable every day individuals. Each day, for every negative interaction I may witness between two people, I witness twice as many kind gestures and good deeds. Whether these involve a teenager giving up his seat for an elderly woman on the subway, or a young woman helping a blind man to cross the street, or a simple smile and a friendly hello in my condo building's elevator from a complete stranger, kindness and consideration are alive and well in the T.

It's no wonder I selected Toronto as the main city of residence for the young, yet bitter at heart, struggling enthusiast, Portia Delaney.

Much love T.O.

Happy reading!

Jessica Ashley